I feel the need for seeds

Like many folks, I have a pet. A parakeet named Cao Boi (pronounced “cowboy”) to be exact. How he got that name is a different topic. Anyway, Cao Boi was out of food. I went to a certain store to purchase a bag of parakeet seeds like I have done for the last 2 years. Which store did I go to you may ask? I can’t say. But if you said their colors were red and white, you’d hit the “bull’s eye.” Wink wink.
Anyway I chose this store because I had a gift card. I love gift cards. I’ve been out of work since January and fishing for the elusive job is proving difficult since, as one employment service told me, prospects are “dead in the water.” So it feels nice when friends, who have jobs, present a gift card for my birthday. It’s a polite way of handing me cash. It’s more practical than sympathetic.
So I venture to this particular store. I stroll over to the pets section. I see one entire aisle dedicated to dogs. The shelves on one side hold different types of dog food. One type with meat, one vegetarian, one with tofu bits, another mixed with desserts like doggie parfait or tiramisu. The other side is dedicated to canine accessories like dog dishes, leashes, beds, hats, tanning lamps, shaving kits and puppy cell phones. I got the hint that a lot of people have dogs as pets. I’m pretty observant.
Over to the next section I go. I see items for cats which take up about half of one shelf. Next in the animal food chain are the birds. Finally I reach the area of my interest. I find bags of seeds alright, but for cockatiels, finches, parrots…but none for parakeets strangely. My gut sensed something foul in the air. Or should I say no specific fowl food? Yikes, my rage had turned my witty puns into nonsensical mutters. In fact I was cursing in a made up language at the bare section reserved for parakeets. I know for a fact that parakeets are a common feathery pet, if not the most common. Christ Almighty my mom alone has about 500 of them in one small cage in her garage. How can they not have any parakeet seeds? I inspect the area further. As an American I expect things handed to me and when they’re not, I raise hell. Let’s see, there are bags for wild birds. Wait, wild birds? Why can’t wild birds locate their own food? You certainly wouldn’t buy a wolf a rabbit from the grocery store. It is the job of the wild animal to track down and eat their dinner. Who created this animal welfare system? I go on to examine the other bags. Woodpecker seeds? Are you kidding me? Who the fuck keeps a woodpecker as a pet. They’re freakin’ noisy! They peck wood all day long. It’s like keeping a rooster in a small apartment. Upon further inspection I managed to locate a dusty bag of seeds for the Dodo Bird. I rationalized that perhaps this store stocked it in hopes the extinct bird makes a comeback. And still, nothing for my Cao Boi. It seems they care more for the dead than they do the living.
When I stumbled into rabbit and guinea pig pellets I knew my expedition resulted negatively. My outrage turned somber knowing that Cao Boi would go hungry, at least until I went to the nearest pet store, which I should have done in the first place. But I don’t have a gift card from them. Hint hint. (no food for you!)