Aahhhscar!

The Academy Awards are this Sunday night. I’m curious to see Hugh Jackman host it. Judging from previous telecasts, it’s either a snooze-fest or something akin to a room full of vacuum cleaners…a suckfest. Either way it’s going to be interesting to see who wins and goes home a failed, miserable loser. Here are my pix…

BEST MOVIE
“Milk.” After the Academy, to quote Gandhi after he met with the British government, “pussied out” on giving the Best Picture nod to “Brokeback Mountain” in favor of the less controversial “Crash,” I think the members will definitely feel the guilt and give it to "Milk." Besides, I heard it was a great movie.

BEST ACTOR
Cue all the comeback references because my pick will be MICKEY ROURKE for “The Wrestler.” Sean Penn, the other strong frontrunner, already has a statue and Rourke’s return makes for great television. Let’s face the show needs ratings.

BEST ACTRESS
KATE WINSLET. And it’s about time. Sure Meryl Streep is…well Meryl Streep. But Winslet has been nominated 873 times in her career and lost each time. If she doesn’t get it this year she should change her last name to “Kate Losesit.” Besides, she’s been naked in almost every movie.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
HEATH LEDGER. No one has been talked about more, and it would be a major letdown for the viewers to see the statue go to someone else. Besides, it would be a nice tribute for his shortened body of work.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
It depends. If we’re talking about actually acting, my pick will be VIOLA DAVIS. I didn’t see the movie, but she’s highly respected. However if we’re talking about the academy, the statue will go to Penelope Cruz because the supporting category ALWAYS goes to comedies, especially Woody Allen films.

All other categories.

“Slumdog Millionaire” for writing and “Wall-E” for best animated movie.