Reality TV: Really Unreal

Is it really reality? Last week “The Bachelor” chose the wrong contestant. How the hell do you choose the wrong bachelorette? In fact the whole premise of the show seems so unreal. .
A man or a woman becomes the center of a wooing ritual created by desperate-for-ratings television people. They suss out the rejects by going on dates that involve hot tubs, wine and sleepovers. So the bachelor or bachelorette in question gets the opportunity to sample everyone before eliminating the competition down to 2 contestants. Our boy, Jason, chose a cute, chirpy brunette though he agonized terribly over the decision. Cameras happened to be at the right place as he blubbered emphatically to illustrate how horrible he felt. Poor guy. Geez. If I were on that show I would convert to Mormonism, take on the whole lot as my wives and boom, happy ending. Either that or start my own cult and live in a nudist ranch near Phoenix. Now THAT is real.

Over on “American Idol” there was a haze of confusion over the new system of voting. Instead of the usual 24 would-be singers, there were 36. Look, it’s confusing enough listening to Paula Abdul’s ramblings, but it was even more confusing when they allowed a couple of questionable contestants to pass all the way through to the show. First was some hammy guy who sang fairly well but it was obvious he wasn’t take the whole experience serious. Second was Tatiana, the tortured, unpredictable mess whose over-the-top dramatics must have made the producers of the show think “crazy brings in ratings.”
Worse yet is that she’s Latina. It’s bad enough Alberto Gonzales has sent our people back 50 years in Politics, but it’s even worse when our sole Latin representative on the show is overwrought with looney behavior. But I did learn my lesson watching the show. I watched as Paula tried to console the twice-rejected hopeful. I realized then that everyone, I mean EVERYONE has a soulmate.

“Survivor” is in its 4th week and once again the firsts to go are African-Americans. Maybe the show is trying to say “the reason racism exists in this country is because African-Americans are intimidating.” .
All I know is if I were on that show I would hold hostages until the producers gave me the million dollars. It might shorten the process but I did outwit everyone by smuggling an AK-47 to the islands.